Nothing in the Northeast?
Check out The International in Bolton, Ma.

I vote for Samoset Resort, "the Pebble Beach of the East". My second choice would be Bristol Harbor Golf Club, in the Finger Lakes region of NY state.

George mentioned Balsams Resort in Dixville Notch NH... It was a classic spot... grand old hotel with lots of history and a Donald Ross was there designed golf course...
Both are currently and sadly closed ... the hotel for "renovations

Bandon is great I have been there many times but it is golf. The different lodges are great but it is still golf that you can not beat.

Small inns with golf? Gotta look at VT. The elegant Woodstock Inn and Resort is the definition of timeless. It was formerly the playground of John D. Rockefeller. The course is old and quaint, with a lovely creek bisecting many holes. The Inn is high-service with great food. The nearby streams are perfect for dropping a fly line after play. While you are nearby, Stowe and the Equinox are nearby and probably as good, but without the tradition of Woodstock. Great towns for shopping and sightseeing, too. There is better pure golf in other places, but no place will beat the atmosphere of these old, small New England inns.

Primland...been there, love that

One course, and a smaller hotel...Erin Hills in WI definitely fits the bill. Awesome track and a very well run facility. Also the Leatherstocking Golf Course at the Otesaga Resort in Cooperstown is unique and has another small attraction nearby.

Craig,
Have you ever played the 9 holes at the Mohonk Mountain House up in New Paltz? Lovely 9

Any "Best ..." list is going to omit some deserving inclusions. Let me add the Homestead at Hot Springs, Va. and Callaway Gardens in Georgia to the deserving unincluded here.

I've been to Primland. It is absolutely one of the best places to play golf, dine and have a massage. Upon entering the gate it takes about 10 to 15 minutes to get to the Lodge. The Lodge is an incredible place to spend a few days. The food is excellent and they treat you the right way. Would highly recommend.