BILOXI, Miss. -- If you're ever on the coast of Mississippi, you owe it to it yourself to stop at historic Mary Mahoney's French House, a dining tradition that goes back more than five decades and features some of the best seafood, steaks, appetizers and desserts on the Gulf Coast.
It's also a little bit quirky. Not only is there a 2,000-year-old live oak tree in the courtyard that survived Hurricane Katrina, but inside you'll find countless pictures of celebrities and politicians who have dined at this institution.
You'll also find Mary's son, owner Bobby Mahoney, who's there pretty much every night not only welcoming guests, but entertaining them as well with his Cajun humor.
Mahoney also loves golf, and spends four days a week playing the game and the other three practicin', as he says. The result is a handicap of five and the round of his life a few years ago, where he played the par 5s at nearby Sunkist Country Club at 7 under par. The stretch included a double eagle. The round also included a couple of double bogeys, which is why he only finished the round at 1 under.
Mahoney has a great sense of humor about the game we love, and often shares his golf jokes. He has a few others as well. Here's a sampling of what you might get from Mahoney, who hears these jokes on the golf course and beyond and repeats them to his customers at the restaurant (www.marymahoneys.com).
A question of apparel
Do you know why golfers bring two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
A choice between golf and sex
They asked Bob Hope, what do you like better, golf or sex?
He said he liked sex the best -- unless he's hitting the ball real good.
Four eyes are better, right?
Guy comes home and tells his wife, "No more golf."
She asked, "Why you quittin' golf? You love golf."
He said, "I can't see where the ball's going."
She said, "Why don't you take your daddy out there. Daddy's 90 years old, but he can see real good."
He said, "Okay, I'll take Daddy out there."
He hit the ball off the first tee and asked, "Did you see it, Daddy?"
Daddy replied: "Yeah, I got it."
They got in the cart and went down the fairway, and he asked, "Where's it at, Daddy?"
He said, "I don't know."
"I thought you said you saw where it went."
Daddy said, "I did, but I forgot."
A lesson in fundamentals
A golfer hit the ball in the water and tells his caddie, "That's it, I quit. I'm going to throw my clubs in the water and drown myself."
The caddies replied, "You can throw your clubs in the water, but there's no way you can drown yourself. You can't keep your head down."
Boudreaux and Clotile are getting married. As Clotile is walking down the aisle, she asked, "Boudreaux, what in the world are these golf clubs doing up in this church on our wedding day?"
His reply: "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
Cajun math and logic
A few non-golf jokes that golfers and perhaps hunters can appreciate:
Five crows are sitting on a fence. You shot and killed one. How many are left?
Answer: None, after you shot the first one, the rest of them flew away.
My dog don't have any legs. You know what we call him?
Answer: It don't matter; he ain't coming.
Boudreaux was riding down the highway when a cop pulled him over and said, "Let me see your driver's license. And what's that in your center console."
Boudreaux answered, "That's my water."
The cop looked it over said, "That looks like wine."
Of which Boudreaux replied: "Jesus done did it to me again!"
Heard any good ones lately? Add your golf jokes to the "Join the conversation" section below.