"How far am I from the hole?" is one of the most commonly asked questions in golf. Ours being a game of numbers, we generally appreciate an answer in that particular format.
Sometimes, though, we deserve an answer with a little more honesty. Any golfer who has foozled a tee shot, only to hold up the group behind him waiting for the green to clear from the distance of his all-time longest 3 wood shot, plus 20 yards, has deserved the reality check that a well-worded sprinkler head can provide. "How far am I from the hole?" asked a recent reviewer of the Trophy Club of Atlanta, only to be told "JUST HIT IT," rather than some number well above 200 yards.
Over my golf life, I've seen occasional cheeky messages printed on golf course sprinkler heads. The no-longer-existent Tower Ridge Country Club in my hometown of Avon, Conn., had some. I recall one of them, well over 250 yards from the green of a par five, said "DREAM ON." (Does your home course have any similarly-worded sprinkler heads? Please share them in the comments below.) Alternatively, perhaps we can brainstorm some other (non-profane, please) sprinkler head messages that courses should add.